She's Like The Wind
by Magick Starr
Summary: Another SongFic. Song is 'She's Like The Wind', don't know the artists names, but it comes from the Dirty Dancing Soundtrack! Pairing is JoSam. Story is told from Jo's point of view. Any reviews will be gratefully recieved! Warning: Light Femmeslash.


Is it possible to have such an attachment to someone that you feel like you depend on them? Like you couldn't pass the day without seeing them? Is it just me or do other people get that? Am I alone in the world or are people just like me, but too afraid to admit it?

_She's like the wind through my tree_

She's like the re-appearing figure in my dreams. I don't think I've had a nights sleep in the last few months without her popping into my thoughts. I may be asleep at the time, but she's still there, in my mind, haunting me.

_She rides the night next to me_

I get through every long night with her there next to me in my head. Of course she'll never be there next to me, but she's always with me in my head. She drags me kicking and screaming out of my dream, if it wasn't for her I don't know if I'd want to get up every morning and live my life. Well what else have I got?

_She leads me through moonlight_

But then I remember that I haven't even got her. She's not mine, she never will be. And that's what hurts, because every time I think to myself that I wouldn't have made it through the day without the thought of her with me, I'm reminded that she's not with me. I know I can't have her, so why does that make me want her even more? Why is that only an incentive to fight for her? Even if it results in my tears.

_Only to burn me with the sun_

If someone told me three years ago that I'd have fallen for a woman I knew I couldn't have, I'd have never believed them. I've always had my head screwed on before I met her. But know I can't not care about her. Some might say love her, but how can I love someone I've never been close to?

She's taken my heart   
Is she oblivious to the fact I care about her? Because I feel like whenever I'm around her I'm not in control of my emotions. Perhaps I'm not as transparent with her as I feel. Because if she knew how she made me feel, she wouldn't ignore it, would she?   
But she doesn't know what she's done   
She can be so close to me, and I'll just shiver at her presence. Her breath will catch my neck as she leans over my shoulder to pick up a file, and that's it, my hormones are working in overdrive. How can someone make me feel like this when I'm not even close to their heart? Why is it that the strongest feelings are always one-sided?   
Feel her breath on my face   
And if the breath wasn't bad enough, she'll lean a little too far, and our bodies will collide for a brief second. And she won't feel the connection I feel, what she feels will be purely platonic, while I shudder slightly from the electricity coursing through my veins.   
Her body close to me   
Then she won't understand why my vision darts around the room every time our eyes meet across the office for the rest of the day. She'll think she's done something wrong, when really it's me. I'll stare at anything but her until she comes over to me and asks what she's done wrong. Why do I feel so guilty for that? Why do I feel like I've done something wrong?   
Can't look in her eyes   
But then again, I have, haven't I? I know I'll never have her, so why do I constantly think about her, watch her working. She's too good for me, she's an amazing person, and who am I? Someone who does nothing but dream of a person they can't have.   
She's out of my league   
Didn't she find everything she needs in someone though? Yes, she did. But then why did she throw it all away? But I could never give her what she wants, what she needs, what she deserves.   
Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs   
She's the most unattainable person I've ever come across, there's never been a woman I've wanted that I couldn't charm, well, until her that is. She's something I can't quite get a grip on.   
She's like the wind   
But I'll never be good enough for her. Why should I sit here and convince myself I am, just to feel destroyed when I'm not the person she runs to?   
I look in the mirror and all I see   
I'm not the person I thought I was. The person I want to be. I'm just someone lusting over a woman I can't have, when did I become that person? Did she make me that person?   
Is a young old man with only a dream   
Will I ever recover from the spell she's cast on me? Will I ever be the person I thought I was again? The person I used to be? Or will I be stuck here forever? Wishing for someone I can't have? When she's gone for good, will I just find someone else I can't have? Am I deluding myself into thinking I'll ever get over her?   
Am I just fooling myself   
I know I can never have her, but will I ever be released from her grip? Will I ever be able to get over her?   
That she'll stop the pain   
Could I break free from her? And live my own life somewhere else? With someone else?   
Living without her   
No, I couldn't. I know I couldn't. So it looks life I'm stuck with this half-life. This excuse for a life.   
I'd go insane   
She's too close for my liking. She's always around and it doesn't give me the chance to forget her. But is that what I'd want?   
Feel her breath on my face   
To erase her from my memory would be to lose the best memories I have. Even if she doesn't share those recollections, I have them. I need them.   
Her body close to me   
But I can't think straight now, can I? Every time I think about her I'm haunted by the thought that she'll never be who I want her to be.   
Can't look in her eyes   
I'll never be who she needs me to be.   
She's out of my league   
If I was someone different, someone better, would she care about me? Would she see me in the way I want her to see me? No, of course she wouldn't, I'm not worthy of her.   
Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs   
Why can I never quite catch her? Every time I feel like we could be so close to a relationship, something happens to move her further from my grip than she's ever been before.   
She's like the wind   
So here it is, I care more for you than you could ever know, does that mean anything to you?   
Feel you're breath on my face   
Do you feel the same way? Could I ever be the person you dream of?   
You're body close to me   
I can't help but look away. You make me feel things I can't explain, I'll never be able to explain them, but I can't cope with bottling them up any longer.   
Can't look in your eyes   
I know I'm not the person you want. That person will never be me, I'm just not right for you; you don't need to tell me that, I see it in your eyes every time our vision connects.   
You're out of my league   
I never believed you'd be doing anything but running right now, I'd prepared my self for that.   
Just a fool to believe   
No one can capture you, why should I be any different? Because let's face it, I'm nothing but ordinary. Never have been and never will be.   
She's like the wind   
I always believed that you'd be out of my distance for the rest of my life, why should that change now?   
Just a fool to believe   
So now, as you flee this catastrophic scene I've created, why does it hurt me so much?   
She's like the wind 

I've been preparing for this moment ever since I met you, why does it damage me more than I ever imagined it would? Why am I suffering more than ever before?


End file.
